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This week's challenge focuses on a link to Easter. Please find the prompt below.
…but I couldn’t find the egg… Remember to use only 106 words and do read through your work before you post it to make sure it says what you think it should.
31 Comments
Lewis
25/4/2014 02:34:03 am
One Easter at 8:00 in the morning I was so excited because there was a Easter egg hunt in the park at 13:00. So I had my dinner and set off to the park. I got there just in time and signed up for the Easter egg hunt. So the instructor told me where I could go and where not to go. Then everyone set off looking for the eggs. If you found an egg you got a prize for finding a egg. 30 minutes later I still hadn't found an egg. But I couldn't find the egg until finally I found a green wrapped egg.
emily
25/4/2014 02:55:05 am
it was easter sunday all my friends were coming roung for sunday dinner and a easter egg hunt.molly was the the first person to get here closely folllowed by zak then erin and last but not least romana.we all sat at the table ready for our sunday dinner suddenly there was mountins of food there was carrots,masspotato,cabbage,brocli,califlour and the list goes on after every one had ther dinner we all went outside to do the easter egg hunt .they were all hidden every were in my garden.first molly found on then zak found we all found one but there was one left every body looked and looked but we could't find the egg untill romana jumped up to see if it was there then all she saw was a pigions body sat on the easter egg.
Jacob
25/4/2014 06:38:58 pm
One day my friend invited me to a egg hunt there was many people there but I didn't know them. There was one special egg to find and that egg was worth two hundred thousand pound every one found a normal chocolate egg but know body found the rare egg. I looked every were but I couldn't find the egg then suddenly I spotted a peculiar looking egg it was a dinosaur egg!!
Mr Turner
1/5/2014 06:00:47 pm
Well done Jacob. I like how you have added punctuation for effect within your story. Check through your work before you publish it as you may have missed a full stop or another form of punctuation to break up your sentence,
Ben.D
25/4/2014 10:23:01 pm
The bomb was about to explode so I hacked into the system. Just before my laptop ran out of power a voice spoke to me saying "to stop this bomb from going boom you must find an egg inside a room". So I searched all over but I couldn't find the egg. Suddenly boom! The bomb exploded and that was the last we heard from the brave soldier.
Mr Turner
1/5/2014 05:58:49 pm
Super work Ben! I like how you have built the tension in your writing.
Erin
25/4/2014 10:58:46 pm
It was a windy day in Bishop Auckland. Easter Sunday it was and I was looking for a very special Easter egg decorated with red and black dots. In it there was a diamond ring worth over £1000! I was looking for hours but I couldn't find the egg in the garden. Then all of a sudden I saw it in my dogs mouth. What was I supposed to do! If he swallows it we will have to give up on £1000! Oh no!
Mr Turner
1/5/2014 05:57:36 pm
Well done Erin. I like your inclusion of exclamation marks and how you question the reader. Keep it up!
Abigail
26/4/2014 12:01:31 am
"It's Easter" I screamed. Today is the day we celebrate new life. Baby lambs and farm animals are born. Plus we are going to a Easter egg hunt. " so on the found off three you go and find the eggs three,two,one" the lady shouted. Off we went. There is ten eggs hidden in the forest. In the first two minutes I found a multicoloured egg in the tree above
Mr Turner
1/5/2014 05:55:29 pm
Well done Abigail. I like how you have included speech marks and used a range of short/ long sentences. Don't forget to add punctuation, such as exclamation marks, to emphasise the character's voice in your writing.
Abigail
26/4/2014 12:04:27 am
It was so easy but I couldn't find the egg with the golden chocolate. I was so disappointed!! I just hope I would find it. What is that above my head oh it's the golden egg.
Elizabeth
26/4/2014 05:07:28 am
Knock,knock, I tapped on the bright red door.Good afternoon Mrs Richardson I said to the farmers wife as she opened her frout door.We visited our friends's farm every Wednesday afternoon as it was springtime,the farm was a busy place,there were sheep in the large green shed lambing,cows in the Byre milking,chickens in the coop laying eggs and the cat basking in the warmth of the sun.From the age of three,I have always enjoyed collecting the eggs.I place each egg gently into my straw lined basket,but today I couldn't find the egg.
Mr Turner
1/5/2014 05:53:24 pm
A good effort Elizabeth. I like how you have included punctuation such as commas, and the use of an apostrophe. Try to include speech marks when a character is speaking.
Romana
26/4/2014 09:36:22 pm
20th April 1999
Mr Turner
1/5/2014 05:51:56 pm
A super effort Romana! I like that you have turned this into a diary entry and that you have added opinion. Try to stick to the 100 words next time please.
Abby
26/4/2014 09:38:02 pm
My mam told that me that I had to do a job. I answered straight back with a no! She told me that she would give me five pound." What is my mission " I say. I had to bake a cake. To be honest, I don't really know how to bake a cake. So anyway I get the milk, I get the icing sugar but I couldn't find the egg. I look everywhere but it just can't find them. Then I realise it's all a trick. Silly me! I then stumble back to my bedroom and start to play on my favourite game. Obviously temple run!
Mr Turner
1/5/2014 05:50:30 pm
Well done Abby! I really like this extract because of the opinion of the character and how you have used short sentences for effect. Super!
Pippa
27/4/2014 01:29:16 am
It’s Easter Monday and we were going to Raby Castle for an Easter egg hunt. The sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky, I hope it’s going to be a nice day. I am meeting my friends from Sunderland, Georgia and Leo. They are to coming over to spend the day with me. When we got to the castle there was a giant bunny rabbit with a big belly and giant feet. He was very silly and messed up our hair. We started our hunt and away we go looking for eggs. Some clues were hard to work out and some were easy .Every time you got a clue there was a letter that made a secret code. We were on the last clue and it instructed us to go to the green house and collect our prize. But first we had to crack the code. Finally we finished but I couldn’t find the egg. We ran over and ask the lady, she told us the giant bunny had them so we rushed quickly over and got our yummy eggs .It was a fantastic day!
Mr Turner
1/5/2014 05:46:52 pm
Lovely work Pippa! I like how yo have used a range of openers and included punctuation for effect. Try not to move from one tense to another. Stick to one if possible.
Millie
27/4/2014 03:13:21 am
Like all the other Easters, I'm stool inside, helping my parents do the jobs. A slight chill makes its way up my spine as I look at the things In front of me. A large spoon, chocolate, a bowl and a few other things I didn't recognise. Suddenly a voice familiar, my mam, says " today, you will be making an Easter egg for your cousin, me and your dad will be out buying stuff " a couple of hours later and I was done. I have to say I was impressed by the outcome. Days later my mam asked for it, but I couldn't find the egg... TO BE CONTINUED...
Mr Turner
1/5/2014 05:42:15 pm
Well done Millie. I was really impressed with the punctuation and drama included in your writing. Keep up the good work.
Jake
27/4/2014 03:25:28 am
One beautiful Easter morning the council held an egg hunt, me and my sister were so excited. We set off and headed to the park with our mam and dad. We began our search, straight away we found ten eggs within a matter of minutes. There were only two eggs left. A boy named Brent found one in the bushes, so we all looked for the last one. We searched and searched but we couldn't find the egg, so we went home and tucked into all of the eggs that we had found. They were delicious!
Mr Turner
1/5/2014 05:45:12 pm
A good effort Jake. I like that you have begun to include commas in your work and that you are using punctuation, such as exclamation marks, for effect. Well done!
Holly
27/4/2014 03:33:04 am
An Easter egg hunt? Fun right. Not if it's in the cold pouring rain. I sit outside trying to find them. I guess the people who set this up hold a gruge against me. They've locked me outside. They said I could go inside once I found the eggs. But I couldn't find the eggs. "Let me in" I yell restlessly banging on the door. I'm no longer amused. Of course no one answers me and I'm left sitting there all night. For hours and hours. As my friends laugh at me. And lightning strikes...
Mr Turner
1/5/2014 05:43:40 pm
A super effort Holly! I like how you have added an ellipsis at the end and how you have included short sentences for effect. Keep up the good work.
Molly b
28/4/2014 03:57:36 am
Well it is now Easter and I am going to have Easter egg hunt and my friend's are coming over Romana Emily and Erin are coming to join me . I have this very expensive egg and I've been told not to let any thing happen to it but it just looks so good I have to eat it know . I went down stairs to get the egg but the egg was missing what shall I do I need it for today my mum will definitely not be pleased with me but there is one solution blame it on my little sister perfect now nobody will know . Ding dong oh my friends are here perfect timing I cant wait
layren
28/4/2014 05:58:35 am
me and my friend Abigail were on a egg-citing adventure, we had looked every were for the golden egg but we couldn't find the egg but it was still something to do after we had been bored for most of the day. I wonder if the egg has already hatched or the mother will be so worried but why did the egg roll away ? something like a fox must have been lurching about .we didn't want the restaurant to know about the missing egg because its their prize possession and they keep it on the high shelf.
isabelle
1/5/2014 05:17:49 am
it was early in the morning and the door bell rang so i dicided to go and get it but suddenly a note slipes under the door and then there was no knocking so i left it.when i red the letter it seid missing egg at planet leisure (airiel trekking) egg contains a cute baby turtle that needs help!after i had my lunch i whent to airiel trekking to go and find the egg.finally i got there and we whent up onto the obstacle course but we had to wait for the other people to go on so i stood and thaght to myself is it scery on there well it sertenly looks like it someone seid back.finally it was my turn and i stood on the first obstacle and it wabbled oh no i seid with fear.after ten munits i was almost half way round but i couldent find the egg any were.after the climbing wall i saw a lightly painted egg so i got a bit closer to it and i picked it up and it seid turtule inside so i quickly whent over the seasaus and jumped over the planks of wood then i was at the end.i was relived to find the egg.when i got down from airiel trekking the egg cracked and a tiny turtle came out of it .it was a miricle! it was late at night and the turtle was comftable in bed and then i thaght that this day was the most wiredest days of my life!
Ellie
5/5/2014 06:21:04 am
Every year I have an easter egg hunt in my back garden and this year is going to be the best of all.As well as small eggs there is also going to be a massive egg full of sweets.Whoever finds it will be the winner.Me and my friends set off to hunt ,I thought I knew all of my mams best hiding places but I couldn't find the egg.I carried on searching for the giant egg but I still couldn't find it.I was just about to give up when splat! I was head first in a bush.There in front of me was huge pink bow,I'd found it!
Rachel
7/5/2014 05:09:56 am
One day my friends and I were playing outside. One of my friends, Faye said "hey! My dad is planning an Easter Egg Hunt do you want to come? Everyone said "YESS!!!”. So the next morning everyone went to Faye’s house, where they started the Easter Egg Hunt. When everyone thought they were finished Faye’s dad, Gavin, said “there was one more egg to find”. All of a sudden Isabelle just stopped and said to her mam “but I couldn’t find the egg”. After one hour it was found that Holly had it in her basket after all. Everyone was so angry at Holly she ran away.
Ava
7/5/2014 05:34:15 pm
It was Easter Sunday my gran invited me and my friend Pippa round for a Easter egg hunt there was ten eggs to find each. When we started we found the fist egg the second and the third egg. Pippa found all ten but I was only on my third so pippa helped me find the rest. When we got to my ninth egg we were searching all over but we couldn't find the egg.so me and pippa went and told my gran and she just remembered she forgot to hide the other egg. Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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