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As we are nearing the half term break I thought this would be quite useful. Within 100 words can you add the following.
...and then we could rest... I'm looking for the most creative answers for this. Good Luck
34 Comments
Kody
22/10/2014 06:27:09 am
In the summer we travelled to Center Parks for a holiday. we did lots of exiting activities. I tried canoeing for the first time and had a lesson were we went all over the lake. for the first time me and my brother did quad biking I was scared very scared. And after half a hour I crashed. we also did a football tournament, lads and dads football witch was very competitive and lads and dads cricket. in between all that was swimming and bike riding. finally it was the end of the holiday so we packed up went home and then we could rest.
Mr Turner
9/11/2014 03:27:57 pm
Well done Kody. You hvae added lots of thoughts/ opinions to your writing. Please check capital letters.
bethany
24/10/2014 03:22:59 am
As the clock yelled out 9.00am we were all in the classroom getting ready for the last day of the week.Mrs Meadows stormed into the classroom and explained that it was nearly half term and then we could have a rest from all the hard work we had done.Assembly time Mrs Gill made all the lucky winners come out in year 5 she said i got my hands ready to clap when Mrs Gill said Bethany in art the clock read 3.25 then Mrs Meadows said the best words ever HOME TIME!!!!!
Mr Turner
9/11/2014 03:29:39 pm
I like how you have retold the story there. Could we have added an ellipsis at the end. For example 'the best words ever... HOME TIME!'
Guy
24/10/2014 10:39:36 pm
One day the famous five were of school for a week so they met up to decide what to do with there free time . They decided to climb a mountain they took an old basket with jam sandwich and milk . When they set of the path was broad but the winding road ahead was getting narrower and narrower and narrower but then George slipped off the edge and Dick grabbed her hand then Dick pulled her up to safety . Then they reached the top then Dick looked at George and said"and then we could rest " then they went home for tea.
Mr Turner
9/11/2014 03:31:07 pm
Well done Guy. You have used a range of openers and speech.
Jessica
26/10/2014 02:20:47 am
After we ran a mile we finally reached our house.We were being chased by a blood hound!The blood hound had sharp, pointy teeth like daggers also a spotty black and white coat.Finally we into the house and then we could rest.After, we told our mam what had happened and why we were out so late.She was amazed!After all the excitement my mam reminded me about my brothers birthday."Oh No!"i thought to myself.I couldn't get him one because I thought the blood hound was outside.Once I had a rest I decided to go outside and check if the blood hound was waiting for me. I crept outside...
Mr Turner
9/11/2014 03:32:13 pm
Super work Jessica. I love the description of the blood hound and how you have added an ellipsis at the end to keep the reader on the edge of their seat.
Lucy
28/10/2014 05:43:46 am
In the night the class woke me up in shock. They got a big maths test and I was in it. I got up and did the test within 20 minutes it had 50 maths questions but it still wasn't a dream. And after that we had one hundred more but the we could rest for twenty four hours. And then it was up to us to leave or do the test but if we left we died. I did the test in relief i won it I got all the questions right. Then I left in a good mood back home.
Mr Turner
9/11/2014 03:33:24 pm
Well done Lucy! I like how you have added an extra snippet to the challenge words.
Luke D
28/10/2014 05:52:09 am
Its Sunday night and i'm getting ready for my taekwondo club. I put on my white suit and yellow belt green tag, now I'm ready to start. First we do our warm ups, sit ups, press ups, jogging and sometimes exercise circuts. Then we get ready to start, we start with kicks first, (I was sweating already with all the exercise), then we did blocks, punches, knive hands and load more moves. It's time to SPAR!!! I'm paired up with Josh, we get padded up and go to the ring (what are basically mats), we start kicking and punching really fast and moving out the way of each other it was a really tense moment. The fight ended, nobody won it was just for fun and then we could rest.
Mr Turner
9/11/2014 03:34:47 pm
Good work Luke! I'm really pleased to see you adding parenthesis (brackets) in your work. It helps add a little extra information to inform the reader.
Madelene
28/10/2014 08:36:01 pm
Another boring Monday had come Mrs.Turner had planned for us to do a maths test and she said after we had done the test then we could rest. i was okay with that as long as she kept her promise. question 1, who am i kidding i cant stand these maths tests. so i asked Mrs.turner if i could go to the toilet she said okay but that i had to hurry up. i waited in there until i thought the test was over. But Mrs.Turner had paused the maths test and when i came back the horrible words came out of her mouth, "question 1"she began.
Mr Turner
9/11/2014 03:36:34 pm
At least I know what you're not keen on! Good work Madelene. Could we have added punctuation to emphasise our thoughts/ feelings about the matter. E.g. 'I can't stand these maths tests!'
Kayleigh
28/10/2014 08:43:08 pm
Hello I am a sorder fighting the shortest war ever the one between Britain and Zimbabwe! I am fighting against the strongest and best warrior right now and I mean right now!!! It is now the end of the war and we were all tired so we went back on the ship to take us all home and then we could rest!
Mr Turner
9/11/2014 03:37:16 pm
Well done Kayleigh! I like how you have included the challenge words right at the end,
Sadie
29/10/2014 09:19:46 pm
Hello I am Oberon a Brown grizzly bear and I am going to tell you a story about my life in hibernation. It was the end of summer, my family and I were strolling across the beauty of our homeland and gathering some tasty foods for us to enjoy before the big rest/ hibernation. I found the perfect cave and placed soft foliage down to sleep on. It is very hard work during the fall getting ready for the winter months. I wandered down to the lake to catch a juicy salmon. After that feast I was feeling tired and then we could rest.
Mr Turner
9/11/2014 03:38:15 pm
Well done Sadie! I'm pleased to see you including commas into your writing.
BEAU
30/10/2014 04:28:10 am
Yesterday I came back from Scarborough and we were in a rush trying to be back in time to go to my piano lesson. We went food shopping and clothes shopping all to be back at the time of 4.00pm.
Mr. Turner
9/11/2014 03:40:06 pm
Short and to the point. Well done for including the challenge words.
Cobi
31/10/2014 12:07:01 am
My friend and I had teamed up together to treck through the snowy hills for charity.Our aim was to walk 20 miles,we would be walking up and down the snowy hills jumping puddles and plodding through marsh land.We are ecspecting this to take us three days from start to finish.
Mr Turner
9/11/2014 03:40:54 pm
This is an inventive piece of writing Cobi. I like how it has been written as a recount of a character's events.
Josh
31/10/2014 06:58:32 am
One Saturday in august I was sitting on my bean bag in my large room listening to some music and I said to myself " I need something to keep me occupied" . So I jumped up, put some clean clothes on and I went to a tree just outside of a neighbouring street and looked for something mischievous for me to do.Where there was no policemen lurking around . All clear! I started strolling along the street and met some mates along the way and we went to the park to have some fun. we went on to a massive zipwire it was epic and then we could rest!!
Mr Turner
9/11/2014 03:41:26 pm
Good work Josh. You have included speech and added a range of openers.
Katie
1/11/2014 12:17:05 am
As we drove to The Lakes we could see the beautiful snow topped mountains. "Look at the refreshing view!"Katie shouted."It's like a picture post card"
Mr Turner
9/11/2014 03:43:41 pm
Well done Katie! You are working really hard! I like the fact you have included speech within the writing and the wider range of vocabulary used.
Neve
1/11/2014 08:41:51 pm
It was approaching halloween and I had to decide what I wanted to be. Would I be a zombie prom queen or a dead bride, suddenly the perfect idea came to me, a zombie schoolgirl. My mum, dad and I started the costume. First we went shopping to buy face paints, fake blood and white shirt. When we returned we started cutting the shirt and adding fake blood, then we let it dry. Whilst the shirt was drying I ripped up an old tie and splashed it with more fake blood. Next I found some halloween tights and put holes in them. My outfit was nearly ready, I just needed a skirt which I found in my cupboard. I tried it all on and showed mum and dad, it looked great, we were finished and then we could rest.
Mr Turner
9/11/2014 03:44:11 pm
Well done Neve. You have included commas within your writing to denote a clause.
Matthew Hetherington
1/11/2014 09:46:16 pm
After school i had to run home all the way home it was a long way 30 miles infact , on my way home i saw cars,cows,sheep,horses,vans,lorys,aliens and dinosaurs i had a bottle of water but a Alien took it and drank it and then a dinosaur nealy stood on me and when i croossed the road a car nealy kild me the i fell over in front of a petrol station then a women came out to see if i was fine after that i said to my self ten miles to go then my mam saw me and i new i was in trouble for not getting home in time so i sprinted the rest of the way home then i put the tv on and then i could rest.
niall
2/11/2014 01:55:45 am
I was playing football and I was working so hard itthfe was all going crazy when we were losing and the other team had scored our best player had finally scored and got us even. it was half time and finally we could rest but not for long we had to score more goals we had scored twice before the opposition could say football. The opposition had scored one goal but we were still winning we were sure of our victory the opposition shot but our goaly save it at his finger tips
LUKE P
2/11/2014 03:17:51 am
On Sunday for my birthday we went to laser quest in the forest at Durham. We had to have our face painted all camouflage colours so we blended in with all the trees in the woods and so we could not be seen in the deep ditches, and we had to look like all the leafy forest. I hid there and my team made me invisible by covering me in mud and leaves and so no one could see me. I covered my gun up with leaves so the other team could not see it, so when I shot the other team they did not see where the bullet came from and I hit most of their team with one live. My Friend Finley got killed but none of their team got killed by my team so they beat us by one death. Once we finished laser quest in the forest we played footie until we saw some hay bails and we then played tig. It was then time to go and we could then rest, so we went to McDonald's for tea we had a fab day out.
evie-mae
2/11/2014 02:54:08 pm
On one summer morning,a little girls called Ellie,who was 8,wanted a new dog.All the family went to get a dog from the pet shop.But all that was left was a messy bull dog.But the girl still wanted a dog so it was sold for £100! When they got home the bull dog ripped everything up.Even the couch was all ripped!The girl thought he was going to stop in less than a week but no he still did it.They now think that he would not stop so they tried to sell him back to the pet shop.But they said no so they had to sell it on Ebay.And all at once they said "and now we can rest"
Robbie
3/11/2014 03:50:36 am
One cold Sunday at the football pitch we were about to have a very important game. Eventually the game kicked off, we were playing Bilingham, they were at the top of the league, we were second. It was a very fast game, we played the best we could but it was hard work and the team was tired. Half time came and finally we could rest!
Daniel
4/11/2014 02:39:49 am
One day when i was making cakes with my mam, we had made more than 72 cakes.So we carried on baking and then we made more than 100 cakes, but when we made 123 cakes our cake machine exploded. And then we could rest, or so we thought but when it was midnight the cake guardians came and took us away and made us bake 1234 cakes for their empire, it was very hard. Of course we managed because my mam is the best baker in the universe , fact. Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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