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The prompt this week is:
…suddenly I was able to see again… Think about what that would mean . Use it as part of a story where it makes all the difference.
48 Comments
Guy
11/10/2014 02:29:57 am
Hello my name is mason and I am in the war because the Italians are attacking England for the coal and the farm land . Right now I am in a tiny tent in the middel of nowhere in a war . All I can hear is bangs and booms . Mason came out of the tent and grabbed his gold gun and set of . There was blood everywhere . He met a friend and a big Italian man shot his friend but Mason shot him in the head, blood rushed out and he ran in to a house, as he looked around there was a dead body...
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:20:41 pm
Well done Guy. I like how you have left an ellipsis at the end of this piece of work. Could we add any punctuation?
Lucy
11/10/2014 04:03:38 am
It was December the 25th a dark and gloomy night at the caravan.I heard something mysterious howling noise. I looked at the clock it was midnight! What would that mysterious noise? It might be a emmmaaaaaa....... Sea lion no em... Maybe a bat I'll go and SURCH "your not going any where missy get back into bed NOW" replied mum I went to bed. I woke up again with a fright I went outside. We where in the middle of know where! There was only trees bats and just Christmas presents I wonderd if they would go or stay?i clasped. I was able to see again.
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:21:37 pm
Good work Lucy. Check your spelling of search. I like you have used an ellipsis and that you have included speech.
Jessica
11/10/2014 06:48:31 pm
As I walked down the dusty road a tiny ant (a red ant)crawled up my foot.The ant was the size of my finger nail.Then a massive cluster of ants came and crawled up my leg to then my arm. Then the cluster of ants crawled on to my head and crawled ontop of my eyes so couldn't see! Suddenly I was able to see again as the cluster of ants ran quikley of my head! When I went home I told my mam what happend-she was suprised.
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:22:00 pm
Good effort Jessica. Well done!
Matthew
11/10/2014 08:04:39 pm
When the bell went for afternoon play I was running around playing tig with my friends until ... my glasses fell off... I felt the ground all over but I couldn't find them, my friends couldn't find them either. The bell went and my friends had to guide me to my line so I didn't bump into anyone. I got into class and had to sit down and listen carefully to what we were going to do. I got my books out and had to use a magnifying glass. I was unhappy when I had to use the magnifying glass because I had to hold it and it made my arm ache. After school the caretaker had been able to find my real glasses and I was over the moon as suddenly I was able to see again.
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:22:46 pm
I like how you have included an ellipsis Matthew.
kate
11/10/2014 08:48:00 pm
I was in a cave, it was a dark cave.It was cold, I felt like the walls were closing in on me, I could smell burning wood. As I turned around suddenly I could see again the light blind me I don’t think I could look again I had stars in my eyes as I turned around I had a flash of the way I came in it was blocked so I looked around and I was trapped in. I felt really bad for the other people who were locked in here but there is no key. What shall I do?...
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:23:30 pm
I like how you have included an ellipsis Kate and a clause. Well done!
Sadie
11/10/2014 09:09:21 pm
It was the night before Christmas, or should I say Christmas Eve? We were packing the car so we could spend Christmas in Brighton with our family. I was really excited to get there. The fluffy grey clouds started to gather forming a fearless monster, that fearless monster turned out to be a colossal snow cloud. By now we were on the motorway and it started to snow, almost instantly it got heavier, the car turned white and we were getting blinded by the paralysing winter storm. My Dad slowly pulled over. We waited for the storm to clear, then suddenly I was able to see again!
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:24:09 pm
I like how you have ended this with the challenge text. A really good effort Sadie.
bethany
11/10/2014 10:53:56 pm
It was a dry sunny morning when a happy young artist decided what he was going to paint...THE SUN!!! I'm going to do every detail and when its done perfection.The artist stared at the sun for hours and suddenly HELP I CANT SEE.well I'm going to paint no matter what so the artist painted the sun blinded.a phew seconds later something zoomed past and threw something at him and suddenly i can see again.but not even the artist knew that he was now wearing ...glasses he was happy forever and then he stupidly one morning he decided to paint the sun again
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:24:55 pm
I like how you have included an ellipsis and used punctuation for effect. Check for capital letters.
Cobi
11/10/2014 11:45:14 pm
Whilst working in my science lab mixing together chemicals,coloured water and sand I instantly poured them together and in front of my face a big puff of smoke appeared 'puff' and a loud "bang".It hit the light and the light shattered into little pieces the room went dark I could not see anything I shouted for help but no one came, as I crawled around the floor heading towards what I thought was the door "ouch " my hands felt like they were bleeding as I wiped them together as I look up towards the window suddenly I was able to see again. "yippee"my sight is back .
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:25:41 pm
I like that you have included speech within your writing Cobi. Please add punctuation where necessary. E.g. Ouch!
Luke D
12/10/2014 01:15:46 am
The roaring noise kept on getting louder and louder, with all of my strength I reached higher and higher for the golden key to the old brown door of the creepy castle. Then I felt something in my hand, it was the key! I quickly opened the door and slammed it behind me. The next room was pitch black, I couldn't see a thing. I felt around the cold damp stony walls looking for a way out, then bang! Suddenly I was able to see again, I had fallen out of bed, it was all just a dream.
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:26:12 pm
I'm pleased to see you attempting to use clauses in your work Luke. Well done!
Neve
12/10/2014 01:16:14 am
On the 1st january 1097 there was a land of maltesers, then maltesers were the most precious thing in the world. They didn't sleep instead they eat maltesers if not all they would see was pitch dark, apart from everyone else they were still living and able to see. I was in the world in 1097, I didn't eat enough maltesers I became unable to see. As time passed suddenly I was able to see again so I started a new life and ate much more maltesers!
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:27:07 pm
Well done Neve! I like how you have added comedy in your writing, includin the maltesers!
Robbie
12/10/2014 01:20:47 am
It was a windy night and just before my mam was going to watch x factor it went black, the TVs had gone off and the lights and we could not see anything so I managed to grab a candle but my mam was fuming as she missed the xfactor. My dad tried to put the power back and it eventually came on and we watched the last 15 minuets of the xfactor and we all enjoy ed the rest of the night.
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:27:36 pm
Well done Robbie!
Katie
12/10/2014 01:53:38 am
Despite the fact that I was sleeping I felt as warm as the bright glowing sun. I could hear noisy people disturbing me in my habitat. Meanwhile I could hear a thumping sound which I later discovered was very important, my mam's heartbeat.
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:28:29 pm
Well done Katie! I'm pleased to see that you are using your prompts and using a wide range of openers. Keep it up!
Caitlin
12/10/2014 03:43:29 am
One day a man was going to the shops. He got in the car and went,but on the way he was involved in a car accident. He had to go to hospital the docter gave him a check up. Doctor said "I will be blind for the rest of my life". The next day, I was allowed to go home and suddenly if by magic I was able to see again. Hurray‼ He invited the whole street to celebrate getting his sight back after everyone went home he went to bed and in the morning he had a knock at the door, the man said" Well done "
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:30:02 pm
I like how you have included speech in your writing and how you have added an extra few words (if by magic) into your challenge text. Brilliant!
Daniel
12/10/2014 03:59:46 am
It was 1768 on the battle field of death bullets came from the UKs successful army, they fought Ireland and england made a successful day ,they defeated Ireland but one irish troop defeated them with multiple rockets so Ireland made a successful day before it was too late.And today we took a stand at war ,and tried again and again until one day we won a battle with Ireland and we killed all of them but they still had land but we got some of it.Then Ireland came back in 2014 and beat us with advanced technology and stole land and left.
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:30:13 pm
Well done Daniel!
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:30:49 pm
Don't forget to add the text into your writing.
Luke P
12/10/2014 04:24:43 am
ON December the 25th it was Christmas Day and I was so excited to open all my presents with my whole family we all got what we wanted. After dinner I went to call fro all my friends as there was very heavy snow fall all my friends came out Guy and Finley Guy came out on his new blue sledge it was scuttling and slipping across the freezing ice underneath the fluffy snow. WE decided to have a massive snow ball fight I felt this really cold splat on my face and it went dark Finley had thrown a snowball at me and I could not see a thing I wiped my face with my glove and suddenly I was able to see again but I threw a bigger one back at him and knocked him off his feet we had so much fun. Wee were so cold we could hardly move but we managed to go to the top of the hills and fly down on our sledges we had a fantastic day.
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:31:36 pm
Well done Luke. You have added the text into your writing,
Daniel
12/10/2014 04:40:12 am
In 1914 on the battle fields UK fought Germany, But they had a great problem the Germans had advanced technology and techniques, But the UK had mini guns and tanks but when I ,jason ,went on the battle field I got hit by a rocket that hit 2 meters away from me I was knocked out when I woke up I said in prison "suddenly I can see again ".All I could here Is "HELP HELP HELP" move jason your a wanted here dead or alive .
Madelene
13/10/2014 02:09:28 am
One day I was climbing on a wall which was slippery from yesterday when it poured down and suddenly I slipped off onto the rocky ground I could feel the tears streaming down my cheeks! And everything went black. After 2 hours I still wasn’t awake suddenly I was able to see again I still felt upset then the doctor told me I had a broken arm and leg my sister was laughing at me because my reaction to the medicine but I can’t help it, it was so horrible. But she said that I will be ok so did the doctor so I went home and everybody was asking about my leg and arm and everybody was colouring on my casts I was happy I was ok.
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:32:02 pm
That's fine Madelene. I'll let you off this time! :) Well done!
Jamie-Lee
13/10/2014 03:06:57 am
I decided to go for a swim in the sea because I lived just across the road from the beach. As I began to go further into the deep blue water I could see the storm clouds gathering together to form a fierce looking monster. Just then I got swept away by an enormous strong wave. I was fighting against the waves as they pulled me under the water struggling to breathe. As I slowly lost consciousness every thing around me went black... suddenly I was able to see again. As I woke up I noticed I was on a deserted island how was I ever going to get back home......
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:32:26 pm
Well done Jamie- Lee. I like the inclusion of ellipsis.
Beau
13/10/2014 03:28:28 am
One day I went to the Doctors to have a blood test and when the sharp, silver needle touched my pale skin I heard myself screaming in my head. I felt as if I was being stabbed. Not long after my mum's eyes became a blur I suddenly exclaimed ''I don't feel well'' then I fainted and the nurse helped me up, seconds later I found I was on the bed at the doctors. Suddenly I could see clearly again. (true story)
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:33:20 pm
Interesting if it is true Beau! I like how you have included speech. Could we have added any punctuation?
JOSH!
13/10/2014 04:08:11 am
It was a Saturday night and I was on Britain's got talent It was my turn to take centre stage ,and simon said you are very red are you OK and then he came up. I'll go up and see him and suddenly I fell to the ground and simon dialed 999 and requested an ambulance. 5 or 6 minutes it arrived ,it was a Mercedes sprinter ems which responded .they tried their hardest to revive .me about 30 minutes later suddenly I COULD SEE AGAIN then I was rushed to hospital and the next day i was realesead time to go to the park yey
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:33:32 pm
Well done Josh!
niall
14/10/2014 12:52:17 am
I am kyle I was at the shops when someone hit me it made me blind I was on medication to help me get my sight back. It was ment to last 1 year so I carried on with my life , of course with help of some cool gadgets 1 year eventually came and I could finally see again it was brilliant I felt so good that I could see again I was going to carrie on with my life
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:34:22 pm
A good effort Niall. Check your spelling for carry.
Ethan
14/10/2014 03:35:36 am
It was a Saturday night when Britain's got talent at the judges houses and we are at Simon's house in South America.I wanted Ben Hanow through to the live show and guess what he got through and my family were love in it because my brother, Mam and Dad wanted Ben Hanow throgh.When the program was finished I went onto my P.S.4 and played on Driveclube.I got a gold medal for coming first in a drift race.
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:34:36 pm
Well done Ethan!
Henry
14/10/2014 03:41:20 am
It was a typical day at school. As I looked out of the classroom window I saw a monster forming in the distance. It was serious. It was a thunder cloud. All of a sudden flashes of light came booming out of nowhere. The classroom lights started to flicker and the picture on the whiteboard started to break up. Then there was howls of wind crashing against the walls. The lights went out and it was silent darkness. I was sitting at my desk shaking when the lights came on. Suddenly I could see again, but I did not know who were my friends. What had happend?
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:34:58 pm
Good effort Henry. I like how you have ended on a question.
Joe part 6
15/10/2014 05:57:26 am
The old man yelled "this cave is forbidden!" Joey said "then why are you here?" "how dare you, I am the guardian. I've got many powers" There was a boom, smoke crept around, it was becoming clear it was the Sheriff. Suddenly Bob was able to see again. Bob came down on the orange rope. The old man went to the Sheriff and said " I see you've met my friend". Bob said "lets get out of here, they've planted bombs all over the place, we can use the helicopter that I've got outside come on then" They rushed out and got in and flew off into the jagged clouds.
Mr Turner
19/10/2014 05:35:35 pm
Well done Joe! Well done for including speech and adding punctuation. Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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