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The prompt this week is:
... but all we could see was water... Please make sure you use the prompt as it is written. This means you have 107 words to use. Please ensure you complete the challenge by Monday at the latest. Good Luck!
25 Comments
erin
7/2/2014 04:12:04 am
we rowed the boat for miles but all we could see was water. Finally after two days we reached a deserted island. I supposed that it was better than staying in a boat. Once we had unpacked our stuff off the boat we explored the island. Me and my friend walked down to the bottom of the island to see if we could find a phone but instead we found a giant pile of bones. What were we doing here?
Mr Turner
8/2/2014 11:22:47 pm
A good effort Erin. I like how you have thrown a question in there at the end. We could have placed an ellipsis in there to build the suspense.
Jacob
7/2/2014 04:33:54 pm
Once upon a time lived a boy called Joe, he adored space and one day he said to him self "I want to go to a planet where there are sea monsters and aliens." After that he said to his dad "can I have a cardboard box?" Within seconds his dad produced one from the attic. The very next day Joe started putting food in the box then all of a sudden he pulled the box to the fire place and whoosh he was in the air. After that he landed in a very strange planet, was it Saturn? no was it Neptune? no it was a new planet. Then he saw a boat with marshens in and they said"come with us we are going to get a monster from the sea for our teas. But when they got under, all we could see was water then Joe said "it is time for me to go home" so Joe blasted of back to earth and said " that was cooooooooooooooool!
Mr Turner
8/2/2014 11:26:28 pm
Well done Jacob. I like that you have added speech into this extract and how you have created intrigue with some of your openers, such as 'Within seconds...' I feel we could have placed an ellipsis in there to further build the suspense and tension.
Abigail
7/2/2014 07:58:15 pm
Ok
rachel
7/2/2014 09:05:03 pm
One morning I woke up and went downstairs but something was not right; the sky was bright red. There was no one around so I went outside; no one was in their houses. I went to the house next door, no one was there either. Then I saw a big hole in the trees splitting open. I stepped in through the hole there was a jungle but all we could see was water... the trees were falling down into the water. I was terrified, there was a house just sitting by its self. I walked up to it and I heard a groaning sound and then …
Mr Turner
8/2/2014 11:29:10 pm
A fantastic effort Rachel. I like how you have added an ellipsis into your work and further built tension. We could have added a simile into our work to describe the red sky.
Elizabeth
7/2/2014 09:40:30 pm
Drip, drip, plop, plop oh no I wish it would stop. Lashing on the windows, spitting on the doors looking at the clock it's nearly eight o'clock. Morning just beginning, we are swaying left to right, the ocean must be rough outside as we begin in fright.
Mr Turner
8/2/2014 11:31:28 pm
A lovely take on this challenge Elizabeth. I like your use use of rhyme within your work and how you have added an ellipsis. Well done!
Pippa
7/2/2014 09:50:50 pm
Dear Diary,
Mr Turner
8/2/2014 11:37:27 pm
A lovely effort Pippa! I like how you have created this into an extract from a diary. We could have finished with an exclamation mark at the end.
Abby
8/2/2014 05:34:26 pm
Long ago in ancient times was a family. They couldn't add they couldn't subtract, divide or multiply all they did everyday was go to the beach. Every morning they would make a picknick and set if bright and early to the bus stop. They would then ride at least for two hours and arrive safely at the beach. One day was different for that family only two children went to the beach. Not even a adult went to the beach. So they had their journey arrived back and screamed " but all we could see was water!" All they did was swim with not a bit of sand in sight.
Mr Turner
8/2/2014 11:39:37 pm
A super effort Abby. I like how you have used the extract given to us in the challenge as speech. We could have added an ellipsis between family and only.
Ben 2
8/2/2014 09:40:24 pm
When me and my friends went to the park we thought we were heading the right way but all we could see was water. Then suddenly out of nowhere a giant octopus appear and squirted ink everywhere and unfortunately I was wearing a white t shirt so it was stained black. Luckily the octopus disappeared but right after that me and my friends heard laughter but then we realised it was just a little boy watching a rabbit in a puddle. After that me and my friends were so bored we ran home hoping we would be safe.
Mr Turner
8/2/2014 11:41:08 pm
A good effort Ben. I like how you have used a wide range of openers within your work. We could have added a comma or two to create a complex sentence.
Holly
9/2/2014 11:46:51 pm
I woke up with a start , my best friend was lying next to me. "Wake up" I yelled we looked out of a window but all we could see was water. I didn't no where I was the room was empty and there was no doors. The last thing I remembered was playing in the park with my friends. I banged on the walls hoping that someone would hear me but they never did, we waited 10 years and no one ever heard us. We spent the rest of our lives in...in....in nowhere. We spent the rest of our lives in nowhere.
Lewis
10/2/2014 01:53:21 am
Once upon a time lived a boy called LEWIS he had lots of friends. So he decided to invite them to his party at planet leisure in Newton town. So it was the big day for everyone who was invited to the wonderful party of Lewis miller. They went but all they could see all we could see was water. So they could not do anything. They were all board. The mam said "why don't you play a board game or something that is fun" so the children did a fun thing made paper aeroplanes.
josh
10/2/2014 02:13:56 am
Once upon a time there was a man who lived in a lighthouse, he had lived there many years he liked to walk around the spindle stairs and look out of the windows at night but all he could see was water. The man likes to watch the light to help ships dock and find there way he had helped so so many sailors until one night the light to the lighthouse would not work................
Ellie
10/2/2014 03:51:46 am
"Stay,Rosie,stay!"I screamed at my dog but she seemed to think I was just playing with her.Rosie dropped her ball out of her mouth and waited for me to throw it again.I launched the ball so high it landed in the fast flowing stream with a plop.She zoomed to get the ball,so I ran as fast as I could but she had allready leaped into the stream.I got to the edge to look for her but all I could see was water.......
Abbie
10/2/2014 03:52:32 am
One day I woke up and looked out of the window,but all I could see was water.I ran down stairs as fast as I could but nobody knew where the water came from.Outside there were no houses,no people,nothing just water.Next I nervouly started to open the door and water started crashing in.I jumped out and swam to the top.There were miles of water ahead so I swam and swam for ages.After a long time I came to an island covered in trees and sand but where was I...
emily
11/2/2014 12:36:02 am
all i could see was water thon a walk ets go back three days i was going on a walk with my best freind molly when we saw a light it go closer snd closer untill me and molly started lifting next thing we now we are in a space shuttle we were in there fore ours days and even weeks untill fianlly we got on to a planet was it the moon saturn i did't now nether did molly suddenly there was a big bang warter started going every were all me and molly could see was water
lauren
11/2/2014 12:45:04 am
but all we could see was water, I was sat at my desk gazing out of our class window thinking of how the world started .what was that horrible smell? I thought to myself squashing my nose together . sooner or later I was at home oh?" not again" I exclaimed sadly I must have fainted once again I have no clue what I was doing before that . wait were am I? what's my name? wow what's that object on the glass table.? " its a lamp ? my mum said worriedly
isabelle
11/2/2014 04:20:57 am
It was an windy gloomy day at loch ness there were not many visitors, but there were three tourists eager to descover the loch ness monsters we even brought our wooden boat. Minutes went by and we managed to get us and our boat into the water .hours of rowing and rowing all we could see was water.we decided to turn back and go home.as we were heading for the shore and I spotted a rather long log so I steered ccloser to it and I found out it was the loch ness monster. The next day it was all over the news papers and a paparazzi turned up at my front door. I even thaght that I was famous.
Jake
11/2/2014 03:11:28 pm
One stormy night an evil force was casting a HUGE rain cloud above the town.... during the night I could hear gigantic raindrops pounding on the floor 'blip!' 'blop!', but this wasn't any average storm, some despicable army of darkness was doing this. The next morning when I woke up the storm was over, my sister and I put on our coats on and opened the door to go out and play, but all we could see was water.
Millie
12/2/2014 01:43:08 am
Darkness fell. All around we're buildings isolated in silence. What was left of the streets were deserted. Suddenly, out on the pear, a flashing light appeared.when I stepped closer, all I could see was water. Was I in a swimming pool? Was I swimming in the see ? No it was pitch black and there is an awful smell. In all directions I turned my head, seeking for a way out this imprisoment. Further and further I dived down unsure of what will lie in the future. When I feel like I've been going on for hours I realise that I'm not very far down at all. I can stand up. Noticing it in the corner of my eye I'm in a ... Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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