100 word challenge #22

20/3/2015

The prompt this week is:

…as they turned the corner…

Do think about your story before you start to write. A plan can help make sure you get in all your ideas and that they make sense. When you have written it, ‘mumble’ read it to yourself to check that it says what you think it does!

Have a lovely weekend Year 5.

36 Comments

Kayleigh

20/3/2015 06:54:26 pm

DAFFODIL GETS A PANTOM TOLLBOOTH

Daffodil was bored. Ever since she came back to her home, it had been miserable and gray. Suddenly in front of her eyes there was a pantom tollbooth. Daffodil had read the book, so she knew what to do with it. She got out her old car, put the coin in and drove through.

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:42:28 am

Well done Kayleigh. This a good start to a story, don't forget to include the challenge words.

Kayleigh

28/3/2015 02:14:41 am

I will next time

Ethan

20/3/2015 10:21:41 pm

As I turned the door corner it creeked and it woke my brouther up so I creped down the stairs I heard something.So I went and infesergated but it was only our cat Jinger so I sat down and played on my IPad Air wiles my brouther Finley played in is bedroom.On my IPad I was playing clash of clans because all of my friends are on it when I was.

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:43:30 am

A good attempt Ethan. I would like you to include a wider range of punctuation and make sure you have placed the punctuation in the correct place.

Katie

21/3/2015 02:08:04 am

As they turned the corner anxiously they're tiny bodies were frozen. There stood a bear with perky ears, mouldy, giant, pointy teeth, gloomy eyes and sharp claws. When it stood proud on it's back feet, towering above the petrified children they began to worry because they thought they would get eaten.
The bear approached timidly and the children thought he now looked pitiful and as scared as they had been.
"What's up?" The boy asked.
"I have no home" the bear cried.
"Well, we can help you, as long as you don't eat us!"
The children hurriedly gathered snow to build a igloo for there new friend.

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:44:08 am

Super effort Katie! I like how you have included speech and described the bear,

Guy

21/3/2015 09:38:36 pm

In 2004 there were two friends called Toby and James and they were both 21. One day James asked Toby if he wants to go on a walk mad Toby said "yes but where shall we walk to"? "How about through the haunted trees" ok. The next day they set off, while they were walking the floor was getting mistier and mistier. Then Toby felt something on his back so they turned around and they saw a portal so they jumped In, they were teleported to a land of weird things. They looked around but as they turned the corner they saw a flying eye and they both had a heart attack and died!

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:45:30 am

Good work Guy.This is an interesting story, especially with the flying eye. Try to include punctuation such as the question mark within your speech marks next time.

beautiful sadie (not)

21/3/2015 10:01:40 pm

“Hurry up kids,” shouted Mum, whilst rushing the kids to pack. “The quicker you get ready and packed the better!” The Wake family was going on a trip to Runswick Bay, which is a lovely beach about an hour away. They go there quite often and this time they are staying in a house near the beach its self. “Mam, we are both ready so can we go now?” questioned Sadie. Their Dad was already in the car and ready. Off they went and as they turned the corner they saw a fox and its cubs crossing the road. What an amazing thing to experience!

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:45:47 am

Well done Sadie. An interesting story.

cobi

21/3/2015 11:06:15 pm

As they turned the corner the two boys saw something extraordinary it was a large ice house .As they got closer to the house they could feel the breeze of the coldness blowing off there skin ,despite there determination they weren't to sure what surprises would meet them inside the beautiful ice house. The two boys kept walking closer and closer to the ice house not thinking what there parents would ask them when they got home. They finally reached the ice house, they opened the door and there was nobody there they were confused a beautiful ice house with nobody in it...

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:46:49 am

Well done Cobi. You have included a range of punctuation within your writing. Try to include commas to denote a clause within your work.

Luke D

22/3/2015 01:25:36 am

Once there was a group of Spy's who were always on secret missions, such as catching thiefs. On May 26th they were walking around town when they spotted a thief pick pocket a mans wallet from his coat, the man hadn't noticed and the thief started running. They started chasing him down the street, but as they turned the corner he had disappeared! Where had he gone? The spy's looked for him everywhere, but they just couldn't find him. One spy said look over there and there was the thief. The chase was back on!!!

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:47:51 am

Good work Luke. I like the use of the rhetorical question and how you are using commas to denote a clause. Check the spelling of 'Spy's'.

Madelene

22/3/2015 02:59:47 am

'Hurry up'said Jil
'I'm coming'said Amy. Today we were off to the annual fun fair. It took about a hour to get there. When we arrived we went straight to the ghost train we hopped on and waited for it to start the man who was at the front was spooky but we forgot about that when it started. As they turned the corner I noticed a creepy clown at the same moment a zombie came out at us and and and i woke up.

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:48:45 am

Remember to include all punctuation within your writing Madelene. We both know you can do this.

Kate

22/3/2015 03:26:36 am

On the 27th March class 5 went on a trip. It was to Barnard castle, because we had to make a sculptor of a castle, for the apprentice (if we do it). We needed to get some ideas of what it looked like in our heads. When I went to go inside Mr turner stopped me and said we were going in there last. It was 15:00, I was looking at my friends as they turned the corner into the castle Mr turner instantly stopped them and said the same thing he said to me. We never went in.

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:49:57 am

Well done Kate. I like how you have used adverbs to describe actions. Don't forget that I also need a capital letter.

Lucy

22/3/2015 03:37:21 am

On the way to a big castle. I wanted to go to the dungeons of doom.As the servants turned the corner it was too late I was so close to meeting the King but I hadn't asked the servants in time.So I went on an adventure! In the castle far away from home, on my own, in the dark seller, nobody knew where I was. I had the biggest adventure I could ever have I searched up and down for the silver,gold and diamond key. I had them in my hand! For the King and Queen to see!

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:50:43 am

Interesting idea Lucy. You have included commas to denote a clause and used a range of punctuation.

Caitlin

22/3/2015 05:09:26 am

One day some children were on holiday and was exploring the local area with friends. As they walked around the town they heard a funny noise so they decided to see what was making the strange sound. As they turned the corner they saw a squirrel talking to itself as it looked in the shop window. It had a big bushy tail and a giant furry head and long white teeth. We walked up to it slowly and it turned around and said "hello." We got such a shock at seeing a talking squirrel, we had a wee accident and ran away.

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:53:59 am

Well done Caitlin. This is a really good effort.

Luke.p

22/3/2015 05:43:04 am

We went to the hospital to visit my baby sister at Durham hospital my family and I bought a huge pink teddy bear balloon saying it is a girl. As I turned the corner I saw my baby sister getting fed with her bottle she had a pjs saying I am the little sister she looked so cute. Earlier that day my nana went up to see my mam and poppy my new baby sister she thought she was extremely adorable she was so happy to see her.Then in the afternoon my grandmas went to see her she also thought she was really really cute she had a hold of her. After school I went and my two brothers we all had a hold of her it was great we all thought she was magnificent. We brought her home the next day and we are are so happy with her.

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:53:12 am

I like how the story relates to real life situations Luke. You have used a range of openers and included a range of adjectives. Think about what other punctuation you may have used.

Jamie-Lee

22/3/2015 06:04:35 am

The other night I had a sleepover with my friends. We were telling spooky stories my favourite story was about a group of friends, and when they went to a carnival. Some of them had been on the scariest ride! But a girl called Amy was determined to go on it, none of her other friends would go on because they were to scared! Amy's best friend, Kellie was feeling guilty about letting Amy go on the by herself. My favourite thing about this story is that it ends in a cliff hanger. Quickly Kellie ran to catch up with Amy, Kellie explained how she was feeling guilty and went on the ride with Amy. As they were waiting in the line to get on the ride, Kellie and Amy over head two girls talking about how scary the ride was, the worst thing of all was a security guard said that it was true! As Amy and Kellie were half way in the ride the cart stopped the two girls slowly got out of the cart,...as they turned around the corner...well nobody knows the rest of the story!

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:51:50 am

I like this story Jamie-Lee. You have used a comma to denote a clause and have kept the reader interested.

bethany

23/3/2015 05:38:25 am

I was interrupted by a flash and a scream and a frighting wicked red looking eyes and a golden teeth grinning straight at me.i decided to call a ghost hunter they said the case was serious and my home was filled with them.the same thing happened the next night the ghost hunters came but AS THEY TURNED THE CORNER of my bedroom they disappeared i followed and i felt something in my back then dropped to the floor and that's the story of Sarah-Jo oh and just 1 tip that house is still haunted

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:54:40 am

Please remember to include capital letters and full stops in your post Bethany.

Robbie

23/3/2015 06:53:30 am

IT WAS THE DAY OF THE BIG RACE! A car race. The cars were lined up for the start of a big long race. The drivers had different sponsors on their helmets and cars and were all exited. The man waved his flags for get ready set and go also, a warning and off they went . They twisted and turned it was pretty cool to watch especially Lewis Hamelton he was amazing . The race was neally over and as turned the corner they could see the finish line it was a fast exiting ending .

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 12:54:54 am

Well done Robbie.

Neve

23/3/2015 07:03:44 am

TODAYS THE DAY, the fair has arrived Jess and her friends are going! They are charged up for the day. Jess asked her friends if they wanted to go on the HAUNTED RIDE,hahahaa the all said "yeah". They paid for the ride and hopped in the cart, off they went up a spiral staircase, next the we're off too a pitch-black room. Whooooo, it's fast and scary! As they turned the corner they screamed with mixed emotions, they were scared, also having fun like a person sliding down a rainbow and falling into the pot of gold!

Mr Turner

27/3/2015 01:00:08 am

Well done Neve. You have used commas to denote a clause within your writing.

Beau

23/3/2015 05:46:17 pm

One day I was strolling down the lush green hill and I saw a lost dog. As I walked towards it, he got frightened and ran away. When he lifted his paw up it had a very small, sharp stone in it! Suddenly a dog warden came, I quickly ran up to the dog again and picked it up. It was only small, I hid with it behind a bush. As they turned the corner the dog licked my face with a happy look in his eyes. Later that day I took it to the vets to get the prickly pebble out of its paw and then we found its owner!

Matthew

25/3/2015 05:13:49 am

One sunny morning some boys went to the skate park. The boys were wearing helmets,joggers,t-shirts and jackets.they had brightly coloured bikes so they can be seen at night. It was mid day when they got hungry,they rushed off to the chip shop,when they got there,there was a que. It took ten minutes...before they were served. After the boys had eaten their chips they went back to the amazing skate park. When they got there they did extreme stunts. It was 7O'clock she. They left. On the way home,as they turned the corner...a ghost appeared in front of them,they shouted! Because they were scared. Because they were so loud they woke up all the children. The boys hurried home as fast as they could.

Henry

26/3/2015 04:48:46 am

My friends and I were walking home after a hard day at school. They take the right turn while I take the left they thought they could scare me by loping round the other way but AS THEY TURNED THE CORNER a petrifing monster was waiting liking his lips with a knife and in his other hand there was a fork and salt, pepper everything you need to have a yummy meal. I still though that they were behind me. All that I could hear is one or two screams coming from behind me so I said "can you boys stop messing on" but as I looked back at them they were frantically trying to wriggle out of the monster's tight arms but all I did was ran!

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100 word challenge #22

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