100 word challenge #16

5/2/2016

As we have been focusing on writing conversations today, I would like you write another conversation between the characters. Remember to follow our success criteria:
1) I have opened and closed my inverted commas in the correct place;
2) I have included punctuation within speech marks;
3) I have used a new line for a new speaker;
4) I have used a range of synonyms for ‘said’.

You have 100 words to use, however if you go slightly over I will not mind.

Have a lovely weekend!

43 Comments

thomas

5/2/2016 01:44:10 pm

“How on earth are we going to get this humongous star out the ground?” questioned Thomas.
“I’m not sure either, “replied dad.
“Let’s try the broom,” said grandad with hope.
“You’ll never get it out with that you silly old man” sighs dad.
“It’s worth a try,” said grandad eagerly.
“I suppose so, “replied dad impatiently.
“It didn’t work! See I was right again” said dad competitively.
“Let me try it my own way” yelled Thomas.
“Go on then clever clogs” joked dad. “lets see ”
“ He’s jumping into the tool bag” grandad said with a lot of confusion.

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:14:09 am

Great work Thomas. You have completed your challenge. Don't forget the use of the comma after the speech and also to ensure that you use the correct tense (past).

Lucy B

6/2/2016 05:59:16 am

"NO, that's not right!" shouted Grandad. "This way works easier."
Dad replied with "No it doesn't your all wrong."
"Guys, guys I think that grandads works better." Cried Billy.
"So your on his side now are you?" questioned dad.
"I think so, he's on my side not yours." Answered Grandad.
The fight lasted for several minutes until...
"Ehh guys lets go." yelled Billy.
No answer.
"Hello do you want to die or not?" Said Billy looking sacred."Well see ya I'm going back ."
30 seconds later...
Screaming, Garandad yelled,"let's go this was a bad idea!" But it was to late. Dad was staring of into space (but we're already in space) at this amazing sight. What was it??

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:14:40 am

Super work Lucy. Well done. You have completed your challenge.

ethan s

6/2/2016 06:35:57 am

“You don’t do it like that!”Screamed dad
“Well how do you do it, “scowled granddad
“Like this” said dad with anger on his face
“Like how, “shouted granddad
“Shut up both of you, stop arguing and hitting each other with you’re make-up bags, that’s absolutely ridiculous!”Bellowed Robbie, you filthy animals have no respect for the moon!
“You don’t talk to us like that”, screamed granddad
“Who said so”,robbie cheekily said
“Me and me”, both dad and granddad said
“Shut up both of you can’t rule my life”, spoke Robbie you need to learn not to fight over tiny things like this

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:15:30 am

Well done Ethan. You have completed your challenge. Remember to punctuate when questions are used and also capital letters for names.

Kate

7/2/2016 01:49:19 am

“Would you like to try our job tonight son?” the father asked.
“What’s the job?” the boy questioned.
“You will find out when you get there, if you’re going; also you will need courage and bravery to complete this job.” the grandfather answered.
“It’ll be very hard,” the father continued.
“Alright then,” he said, “I’ll do it!”
“Terrific!” the grandfather replied in a loud voice.
“Let’s get too it.” the boy shouted in excitement.
“Wow!” the surprised boy cried in glee. “We’re climbing up the moon!”
“Indeed we are.” the father yelled in joy.
“It’s brilliant, I love it!" the boy roared.

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:16:53 am

Good work Kate. You have completed your challenge. Try to not finish your speech with 'the' all the time.

Liam M

7/2/2016 03:54:22 am

“What are we doing out here?” asked the boy.
“We are here because I’ve got you a present,” replied his dad.
“What is it?” asked the boy excitedly.
“Here it is,” said the dad as he passed the present to his son.
“WOW!!” exclaimed the boy.
“Do you like it?” questioned the boy’s dad.
“Yes I love it!” answered the boy, “I’ve always wanted a hat like this, it’s just like yours dad. The hat will keep me warm and dry if it is cold and rains.” thought the boy.
“I’m glad that you like it,” happily replied the boy’s dad.
“I do thank you! You’re the best dad in the world!!” shouted the boy proudly.

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:17:17 am

Great work Liam. A good use of adverbs there.

Amelia

7/2/2016 04:14:55 am

"Aaahhhh!"screamed David,"There's a shooting star coming our way!!"
"Lets hide in that massive crator,quickly,"mumbled Dad.
As fast as they could,the three males,who were scared of the star,quickly ducked into the crator.When they heard the star land they were so relieved it didn't hit them.Dad annonced,"Luckily it didn't hit us but how are we going to move it?"
Then David suggested,"I could get the hammer and smash it!"
So he did just that,it was a glorious sight,all the stars just floating in the sky.
"Are we going to do this every night?"asked David.
"Yes I think so,"replied Grandad.

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:17:49 am

Great work Amelia. You have completed your challenge.

Emma

7/2/2016 04:58:04 am

"Woo...! Dad wher are we are you sure this is the moon papa?" Asked Leo, "I'm sure my boy"replied dad. "Come on lads we have work to do!"bellow grandpar. " wher'er coming" cried Leo. Mmm..., "What's that?" murmured Leo. " RUN!" screamed Grampar rapidly "hide!" Bellowed Dad. "Behind the crater over there!" said Leo in a hurry. ( as the shouting star landed) "Woo...!" Said Leo with a shock.

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:19:09 am

A good effort Emma. Its is good to see you are including brackets within your writing. Remember new line, new speaker.

Daniel

7/2/2016 05:14:16 am

Grandad, Dad and the boy were out one night sailing on the ocean and the boy shouted. “Hey! look at that, what is it?“
” It’s the moon “replied grandad.
“It’s huge, but why is there a piece missing” said the boy.
“That’s because it’s not a full moon yet” growled dad.
“Aaaarrrrrrgghhh what’s that?” screamed the boy.
“That’s a shark” whispered dad.
“Stay very still” murmured grandad.
“Few, the shark has left” muttered dad.
“The hairs on my beard are even trembling” screeched grandad.
“Look the lad’s fast asleep” said grandad.
“That’s enough fun for one night, let’s go home” said dad tiredly.

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:19:30 am

Good work Daniel. You have completed your challenge.

Deyla

7/2/2016 06:26:09 am

“There you go,” Granddad offered holding a blue parcel in his hands.
“Go on son, open it,” continued Dad nodding his head towards the present. Inside there was a hat just like their own.
“Thank you so much l love it!” exclaimed Bobby slipping the hat on his head.
“No son you put it on like this, tipped downwards, chuckled Dad.
“Silly you have it tipped upwards,” objected granddad “you should know that by now!” This went on for several minutes and Dad won, granddad went into a huff and turned off the light. Then the boat was completely silent.

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:20:20 am

Well done Deyla. You have completed your challenge. I'm really pleased with this piece of writing.

connor

7/2/2016 07:39:27 am

On a clear night Harry, his dad Ian and granddad Billy set out on there wooden boat La Luna. Ian pulled out a very long ladder that reached all the way to the moon. Then Harry`s dad Ian handed him an anchor and he started to climbed up the ladder, my dad shouted up to me "are you there yet Harry " after a short silence Harry replied " I`m out of breath but I've just got here " . Waite till you see what I can see up here " its amazing there are shooting stars , they are flying so low we can catch them".

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:21:40 am

A good effort Connor. It is good to see you are beginning to use inverted commas. Remember new line, new speaker.

ruby o

7/2/2016 07:48:01 am

" What is this coming towards us! "shrieked Jack
" I don't no son ," dad replied
"Its a shooting star coming from another planet, "grandad shockingly explained.
"Hide behind this crate over here! " Jack screamed.
" Lets go and investigate the shooting star!" Grandad said nervously.
Jack astonishingly whispered saying" grandad its amazing?"
"Yeah son it is amazing," grandad questioned "but can we go and investigate now!"
"would you too stop arguing ," dad angrily yelled!"
"Jack what are you doing!" grandad shouted
" I am on top of the star" jack said
"get down" dad questioned
"(arrrah) watch out son" grandad nervously said.

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:23:14 am

Well done Ruby. You have completed your challenge. It is good to see that you are beginning to use brackets.

Casper

7/2/2016 10:50:20 am

‘’why are we here,’’ asked Casper.
‘’because today is a special day,’’ explained granddad, ‘’oh I almost forgot.’’
‘’you better not,’’ muted dad.
‘’Forgot what,’’ Casper asked.
‘’you’re early birthday present!’’ shouted granddad.
‘’what do you say Casper,’’ reminded dad.
‘’thank you,’’ replied Casper.
‘’go on put it on we don’t have all night,’’ said granddad cheerfully
Ok hold you’re horses,’’ warned Casper, ‘’what’s the big rush?’’
‘’work, that’s the big rush,’’ smiled dad.
‘’and where is that?’’ asked Casper
‘’You’ll see, you’ll see,’’ whispered granddad, ‘’you’ll see it right about now.’’
‘’Wow that’s amazing’’ yelled Casper in a astonishment.

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:23:40 am

Good work Casper. You have met your challenge. Don't forget capital letters.

Alicia

7/2/2016 11:42:59 am

"Thank you I've always wanted a cap," cried Sam as he quickly unwrapped the cap that was beautifully wrapped, he held the cap close to his heart and he contently gazed into the sparkling vast space around him.
"Thank you father" Sam whispered again as he looked longingly into his fathers eyes.
"It's my pleasure son, do you like it?" Asked his father
"I love it" Sam yelled happily.
His father placed the cap onto his head and proudly said "You are officially part of the team"
Grandad took the cap and re positioned it on his head.
"This is how it fit Sam boy" he grunted.
"No no no, the peak goes up" exclaimed his father, as he moved the peak of the cap upwards.
"Down" grunted grandfather.
'"Up" bellowed father.
Sam sat in the middle not knowing what to do or say. He took off the cap and placed it in his hands.
"I'll just hold it!" Explained Sam.

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:24:12 am

Fantastic work Alicia. You have completed your challenge.

Sol

7/2/2016 11:46:36 am

"Thanks for this gift dad " said Tom
"No problem" replied dad we should hurry.
"I think the hat should be here" mentiond grandpa
"No it should be this way "said dad in a strained voice.
"Why do you always choose where it goes" mounded grandpa
"Well I'm not having it I'm you're dad obey me" said grandpa strictly .
"No it's this and that's final " said dad "pfffffffffffft" grunted grandpa.
"Wow what's that" said Tom surprisedly "that's the moon "replied
dad "that's were we are going " mentiond grandpa "wow " said Tom in astonishment " it's amazing " said Tom put the ladder up said grandpa and let's go.

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:55:20 am

Great effort Sol. You have completed your challenge. Don't forget to use the comma.

Lucy E

7/2/2016 12:08:55 pm

“Come on son up you go!” Yelled dad as Billy was so far up you could not even see him, “we don’t want to be late! The sun might come back up and we don’t want that do we?”
“No dad not at all!” said Billy as he gripped on to the anchor trying not to fall.
Grandad grouched “come on son less talking more working alright, eh?”
“Come on Dad hes new what do you expect?” back chatted Dad
“How dare you speak to me like that!” said grandad angerly
“oh please don’t fight” squeaked Billy
“hes right, I guess” said dad sadly
“yes hes right” miserably said grandad

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:55:43 am

Well done Lucy. Don't forget to use the comma.

Harry

7/2/2016 11:55:40 pm

"What are you doing,boy!"shouted grandad. "What, I'm only putting the cap on. What's the matter?" Dave exclaimed, wondering what he had done. "It's pointing down, it looks a tip. Here, that's better." Grandad said, improvising. "Hang on, you need it pointing down. You need to take after me." Dad explained,"Good. It's OK now." "Does it really matter, it's only a cap," Said Dave, confused by the fuss. "YES!" The two men bellowed, for once they had agreed on something in life." You need to learn the correct way,". "Which is pointing up" said grandad, butting in. "Eh, pointing down, you mean?" Dad asked.

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 05:58:45 am

You have completed your challenge Harry. Remember new line, new speaker.

Scarlet

8/2/2016 11:43:45 am

"So your saying Dad that I have to climb all the way up to the moon?" Questioned Evon.
"That's right son," Dad replied."now you can go up the ladder."
" Grandad do I have to go to the tippy top,"said Evon as he was climbing.
Grandad answered," that's right to the tippy top."
Help... help... Dad,Grandad Joe, heeeeellllllp meeeeeeee!"screamed Evon
Don't worry Evon,you'll be fine,"Dad answered calmly
"Ow that hurt!" Evon moaned.
"Whats all that noise up there, are you ok?" Grandad questioned."
" now what do I do up here?"said Evon
" just tie anchor round one of the creators will be fine," Dad shouted.

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 06:37:34 am

Super work Scarlet. You have completed your challenge.

liam w

8/2/2016 12:17:31 pm

"Dad how much further do I have to go? " shouted Billy "Not much, about two or three metres to go." bellowed Dad grandpa Tod screamed "Hurry up whipper snapper." Dad mumbled "shut up Dad, will you stop thinking your so smart." "aaarrrrh! ill get you for that." oi! stop being baby's, i'm probably risking my life here." nervously screamed Billy "alright I just forgot." admitted Dad You shouldn't be forgetting about me, I am your son." shouted Billy` "Don't fall Billy,and consentrate."

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 06:41:19 am

Good work Liam. Remember new line, new speaker.

Tilly B

9/2/2016 12:38:28 pm

‘’Wow, what is it?’’ Questioned John.
‘’It’s the moon covered in stars.’’ answered Dad.
‘’It’s the best thing you’ll ever see, it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen,’’ said Granddad happily.
‘’Just imagine if I could go up there.’’ asked john.
‘’Well that’s just what you will be doing.’’ Replied Dad.
‘’Really?’’ said John.
‘’Yes you are.’’ Shouted Granddad.
Then Dad grabbed the ladder and lead John towards it. Dad pointed the ladder up to the sky, towards the moon and the stars.
‘’Right John its time to climb, climb and reach for the moon!’’ said Dad enthusiastically.
John yelled happily, ’’Yes! Here I come moon.’’
As he climbed the ladder step by step…

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 06:41:44 am

Super work Tilly. You have completed your challenge.

Lucas

12/2/2016 02:49:46 am

A boy, his dad and grandad all go out to sea on a boat called La Luna. Grandad gives the boy a present,
“Here” grandad whispers
“Open it” his dad replies
The boy opens it and finds a cap, he puts it on and grandad says,
“Let me see, this is how you wear it”
The moon rises and the boy is given an anchor, he’s about to throw it overboard when grandad bellows,
“No there!” pointing to a ladder his dad has pulled out. He wraps the anchor round his back and climbs the ladder. Once he reaches the top he floats up to the moon,
“Wow” he screams “Look at these astonishing stars!”
They sweep the stars up and make a shape. This is the shape of the moon we see on a night in the sky.

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 06:42:34 am

A good effort at completing your challenge Lucas. Keep it up!

Tilly R

26/2/2016 10:48:04 am

As Giorgio was sitting in the boat and his dad was rowing he questioned dad " we're are we going tonight daddy?,"
"We are going to the moon to change its phase Giorgio," answered dad. "Is that ok?."
"Of corse daddy," exclaimed Giorgio.
So off they went, to go to the moon and as they were going to the moon, grandad gave Giorgio a present and he thanked grandad " thank you grandad. I really like it." "How do you wear it?,"
As grandad was about to say something dad butted in and said " this is how you were it,"
"No it isn't," shouted grandad in a old worn voice.
"Yes it is," shouted dad
"No it isn't," shouted grandad " fine you get your own way," groaned grandad,"

Mr Turner

22/4/2016 06:42:50 am

Good work Tilly.

Ethan W

11/5/2016 08:52:59 am

One morning on a boat was a boy.
"Dad what are we doing in the middle of the ocean" asked Billy
"You'll see" replied Dad
granddad bob said" we're going to the moon to clear all the stars to make it a different shape"
"Yup" moaned Dad "You weren't suppose to tell him"
"Why" Yelled granddad bob
Billy said "Split it up dad
"You don't tell me to split it up I told him before we came out to not tell you" said dad
"I was going to find out any how, wasn't I dear me" shouted Billy.

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100 word challenge #16

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