| ESCOMB YEAR 5 CLASS BLOG |
|
|
The first prompt of 2015 is:
… as he started they… You have 100 words to add to these 4 making 104 all together. Make a plan of what you want to write before you start and do read through your work to check it makes sense before you press ‘publish’.
31 Comments
Josh!
9/1/2015 12:58:28 am
On Sunday 21st of october my friend Kody and I went to Brusselton woods in two single tents.( for survival ) at 12:30pm we had a midnight feast with cadburys chocolate bars lemon,lime flavoured water,crisps cucumber (it wasn't quite midnight) and then went to our beds.The next day we went for a walk silly me I fell down the hill so did Kody the next part of the journey we met Robbie so we went back to the tents and Kody and Robbie went hunting Robbie got his knife ready I had to guard the pitch as he started they both fell down the hill !!!!!!!!
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:26:41 pm
Well done Josh. You have included a wide range of punctuation within your writing. I'm pleased to see you including parenthesis within your work. Don't forget to use a capital letter for the months of the year.
Jessica.I.
9/1/2015 01:18:49 am
Michael was planing his picture for school when there was a knock on the door! Michael sprinted down the stairs to open it.... Finally Michael reached the bottom of the stairs and opened the door. It was his friends! "Hello Michael!" chanted the boys.
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:28:02 pm
Good effort Jessica. I'm pleased with the amount of punctuation used within this writing including the use of a hyphen.
Guy
9/1/2015 01:44:45 am
James Bond and his team were in a hotel that was in a damp and dark street, general cooper who had stolen the glowing, gold and important crown and was going to sell it to a collecter. James Bond was hunting him dowen like a tiger after a helpless deer. James Bond and his team are so close to finding him. He Was in the hotel you hear his foot steps booming. The run down hotel was covered in dust webs he was AS HE STARTED THEY ran, James Bond shot him in the leg and gave the crown back to England and was a hero again!
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:29:29 pm
Well done Guy. An interesting story, could we try to use a mixture of small and complex sentences in our next piece.
Kayleigh
9/1/2015 02:23:05 am
Daffodil and red wandered through the half briges and the forest of black gosts but while they were in the dessert of skipping dolls, a sudden duststorm began! Red barked (stop this!)and it stopped!
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:30:48 pm
Good work Kayleigh, I like the range of punctuation you are using. Try to use speech marks to denote when a person is speaking.
Katie
9/1/2015 04:19:40 am
There was a boy, whose name was Michael Morpurgo, who was a handsome chap. He had a friend,Roley, who lived next door. It was a nervous time for the pair because they were starting big school.
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:31:37 pm
Well done Katie! I'm pleased to see you have included a clause within your writing. You have also used a wide range of punctuation. Keep it going!
Lucy
10/1/2015 03:53:55 am
Once on New Year's Eve, everyone had to pray on the night. But in the night, a child was awake. If you awaked and weren't praying you would get bad luck. This little girl was going down stairs, all she could hear was the evil spirits whispering to her, she froze! For a second, she went back to bed. In her dreams she had been taken away to a graveyard, she looked around and saw a hole, she jumped in it and woke up. Then he shouted, 'wake up'! As he, my dad, started cooking dinner he almost died and that was the spirit.
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:32:53 pm
A lovely piece of writing Lucy. You have included clauses and a wide range of punctuation. What punctuation could we have used to help build the tension?
Luke d
10/1/2015 07:07:39 pm
As he started they all began to cheer, The Great Luko was on stage to perform his greatest magic trick ever. He was going to make his twin sisters disappear, he was very nervous it was going to go wrong, but surely it wasn't after all he is The Great Luko! His sisters walked on stage really slow, they felt very frightened. The Great Luko put his sisters behind a purple curtain with sparkling blue sequins, he got out his black and white wand and shouted "abracadabra " and with a puff of smoke the crowd went" oooooohhhh" he opened the curtain very nervously and they were GONE !!!!!
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:33:44 pm
Good work Luke!
Luke.p
10/1/2015 08:54:34 pm
On sunday he 11th Jnauary 2015 my team St Marys and I played our first match of the year against stockton yellows.It was a really cold and windy day and it was also raining so the field was very boggy.
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:34:19 pm
A lovely recall of the weeks previous events Luke.
Robbie
10/1/2015 09:13:17 pm
One sunday afternoon we were playing a football home against our rival team before the match started we where warming up so we did not pull a muscle or hurt our selves in the game.it was time for the game to start and the crowd were watching anxiosly. the whistle blow and we were off, the centre took the ball and ran towards the goal as he started they all cheered.
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:35:28 pm
A good attempt Robbie. You have included commas within your writing. I like the use of the word anxiously also. Remember capital letters.
NEVE
10/1/2015 09:28:44 pm
The day was here, the national sports competition. It's were schools compete against other schools and today was a big day for our school, we had 10 people from our school competing. Charlotte was our best long distant runner and she had the best ability and records in running. As every person from a different school stood at the starting line the crowds anxiously waited for the to begin. The man shot the gun in the air and as she started, they all started to cheer for charlotte. She was in second place halfway but right at the end with the amout cheering for her she tried so hard.... she crossed the finish line in FIRST PLACE!!
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:35:40 pm
Good work Neve.
Ethan
11/1/2015 01:08:52 am
In 2015 a new year began, my family was at Keilder in a log cabin. When it was New Year's Eve we stayed up till 12:00PM so we can watch the fire works to selerbrat the new year.After that we went back to our log cabin so me and Finley can go to sleep because I was egg sourced after that. The next day we went in the hot tub in the garden, it was a great view in the hot tob so I went to get my iPad so I could get a pitcher.After that we hat to start to pack our bags because we were going home tomorrow.
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:37:15 pm
Well done Ethan. Keep it up. Check some of the spellings before you submit as word prediction can be completely wrong.
The amazing Sadie [still]
11/1/2015 01:21:53 am
Kate
11/1/2015 01:24:59 am
It was a cold winters night in the middle of January the snow was falling like ostrich feathers , and my dad suggested we go sledging , so we then said "you go first then"as he started, they laughed when he slipped on the ice and landed on his bottom in a puddle soaking his trousers. He wasn't happy! So my big sister Laura decided to have a go next , she did and slipped off the sledge hurting herself to the point where we all had to go home. Mum said"what on earth has happened" we explained "she then said were grounded for life."
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:38:13 pm
A lovely piece of writing Kate. Keep it going!
Cobi
11/1/2015 03:12:56 am
A nice family who had one daughter, one son and the parents ,the family lived in Cardiff in Wales. They are going to do a sponsored run on the nineteenth of December 2014 ,from Cardiff to Swansea. The distance the family will run is 40 miles and it will take about 13 hours and 45 minutes to run from Cardiff to Swansea. As they all lined up on the start line the sun began to shine through the clouds "yippee" shouted the runners. As the race began James was at the back of the line up AS HE STARTED THEY all cheered him on
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:40:03 pm
A good effort Cobi. You have used a comma to denote a clause. If a character shouts, what punctuation should be used to emphasize this?
Bethany
12/1/2015 12:47:53 am
It was nearly new years day and nearly midnight my sister was nearly asleep although my brothers were asleep.The countdown was getting closer and closer and then a man popped up on our TV screen as he started they began to light the fireworks then one by one bright lights lit the sky followed by lots and lots of dusty smoke my family stood outside to watched more fireworks get fired into the sky.Then we went back indoors to celebrate the new year.i want a fresh new year and i want to stick in more at school.
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:40:16 pm
Well done Bethany!
beau
13/1/2015 03:38:39 am
"Hello and this is BBC North East and today we will be looking at how sharks approach their pray well first of all we need to know which typeshark we are talking about, it is called the Goblin Shark it is very ugly and scary!" AS HE BEGAN, THE AUDIENCE listened carefully taking notes of what he was saying as he described this shark as dreadful. "And it eats sting rays" he carried on half an hour later "that's all from me thank you and over to Carol!"
Mr Turner
18/1/2015 03:40:31 pm
Lovely work Beau. Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
WELCOMEWelcome to our Year 5 Class Blog. Feel free to visit our page and leave a comment. 
Archives
May 2016
Categories |